Saturday, December 14, 2013

Brightside of the Moon, it wasn't. More like darkspot on Earth.

They had names like Frankie, Johnny, Billie, and Tom. Karen, Kathy, and Melinda. The babies of Cottage 6. These brick-constructed homes devoid of any of the things we normally associate with cottages, were thusly named, I know not why. In 2013, they look as they did in 1984, the year George Orwell chose for the novel he wrote in 1949, looking ahead 35 years into a dystopian state which we now call Orwellian. I came by 29 years later to view a memory hole of my youth. I shook my head not once as I drove around, but often and it hung lower each time I did. Such bittersweet memories, no not really sweet. Bitter is better, but still doesn't capture. I just don't have the right word-yet.


This place wasn't new when I got here. By 1984 it had been in existence for 103 years. Farmland before Mother Mary (can you believe that one) and the Sisters of Providence took up residence up on the big hill (see the gold dome behind the tree on the right, that's the big house). The original mission of the Sisters was to minister to the hundreds of poor immigrants and mill workers living in Holyoke, and that they set about doing.


Next door to the big house on the hill was the Wilkerson Farm, which was nicknamed "Brightside" because of the blessing of the morning sun. Honestly, I worked the morning shift, which began at 6a.m. and I can not remember nary a morning sun. I think I learned early on to never enjoy the gifts of nature or humankind while I was a Brightside, because I really was at a darkspot on Earth.

 In 1892, Bishop Beaven acquired this farm, and that is how Brightside was born. A labor of illuminated love mediated by God in which orphans and families were going to be cared for in the kingdom of Christianity. By 1915 the hillside had in residence about 165 of those hapless souls called orphans, having lost their parental people mostly due to poverty and the scourges this condition brings (like tb, typhoid fever, or other health epidemics that swept the impoverished, overcrowded, close-quarters places these people tended to live in).

The building below was the original infants asylum, also called Bethlehem House, which burned in 1907. Plans were then made to rebuild a building to house 130 boys. The orphanage, originally hoping to only house children for short periods of time, also added a school, in which origianlly the Sisters taught at.

How'd you like to have her for your teacher?
By the 1950's a devoted Bishop raised 1.5 mil. for Brightside and the cottages in view now came into being. The orphanage came under governmental aid in the 1960's with the beginnings of the State Division of Child Guardianship. In 1968, the Brightside for Families and Children branch was incorporated as a private, non-profit corp., from which I was employed. Above and below is Cottage 6, where I was employed. The children in residencehowever, were not necessarily orphans, but children experiencing emotional, mental health, and/or behavioral problems- whatever all that meant. In essence they were kids kicked out of foster homes, or returned from adoption for being "damaged goods," or an even more awful term= deemed, "the throwaways." Their histories were horrid, their short lives scarred beyond recognition as "childhood," and their conscription was for a bid on the hill called "Brightside." The furnishings in the cottages were institutional, the bathrooms were like those found in schools or office building, the beds and bunks hard wood and metal springs w/ cheap mattresses (due to the excessively large numbers of bed-wetting incidents). There were hallways in the cottages like in a hospital, not a home. We, the staff carried clip-boards, and doled out "points" or "demerits," and our hapless charges lived their lives based on our tallies. It was awful then, it is awful now only back then I didn't realize how so.


Some indications came early. The education was hard and fast. I went on a home visit with the Social Worker once (she knew I was applying to Grad School + wanted to give me a dose of REAL reality) to terminate the foster care placement. We arrived at the equivalent of an old mill neighborhood on the wrong side of the tracks in Worcester, MA and stepped into a gross and dirty apartment with a morbidly obese woman at a small kitichenette table smoking cigarettes. The Social Worker did all the talking, I sat hugging my charge, and continued to do so through the entire ride back in the back seat while this young woman sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. It was so hard to understand. Tears for that gross disgusting place? Unless you knew her other history, which I don't feel compelled to share here. I don't care that the Sisters ran it, and they were indeed caring and devine and all, but BULLSHIT on the God part, just BULLSHIT! The things I saw, the things I learned- THERE WAS NO GOD HERE. This was no Brightside, it was a Darkspot on Earth.

The grounds today, look almost the same as they did in 1984. A few metal playsets may have been sprinkled here and there, and that was it. It wasn't meant to be inviting, they didn't want you to stay. Only some kids did. For too long. Like I said before some kids even left and came back.
That was almost the hardest. Almost I say, for the other were the additional, internal abuses that went on. Like older kids abusing the younger in some of the most awful ways, deep in the night, in the dark corners of the creepy institutional settings. For some, it was the only way they knew to have physical contact with another human being (that or act out enough to get into a physical hold by staff and then begin to rub themselves all over you). Or evil staff doing the same. I was a whistle-blower for one particular situation in which the person got fired (instead of patrolling at night when awful things did happen, she was drinking beer, and fucking the man she had snuck in. I found them together passed out on the hall couch, beer bottles, empty pizza boxes and all). I lived in fear of repercussions for a while, but was pretty sure the person was way too dumb to figure out how to find me on a large college campus 45 minutes away.

I burned with fire of the madness of the inequalities in life. I burned with indignation for all that those babies were going through. I ached to be a change-agent, only I knew not how.
Instead I made up fun games to play every day, like backwards day. Or all green clothes day. I taught them every childhood game I knew, every camp song I remembered and I brought them little treats. 

I loved them all up as only I could in the so so short time I stayed.



 I extended my time there to include a semester in the classroom as well. Then I said goodbye. I walked away just like the rest. And a bit of my soul died in the process, a bit of my youth as well. Hard stuff like that that settles in the arteries lodged in my soul-heart. I'm sure an ecogram wouldn't detect it, no mind though, because I felt it. And I can still feel it today. I was so so sorry then, and I am still so so sorry now. I can only hope that someday I will see them all on the Brightside of the Moon.


 This dated add is from the Springfield Republican. Sadly, one of my "jobs" while at Brightside was to chase and catch "runners." If the call went out, off I'd go, usually running up to (can anyone out there imagine ME running up to anything???) the newly built Holyoke Mall. Ah the legs of an athlete I had then!
By Tom Shea, Suzanne Strempek Shea, and Michele P. Barker
Click here for purchasing information.
140 Years of Providential Caring was a collaborative effort with Pulitzer-nominated journalist and columnist Tom Shea of theSpringfield Republican and Abu DhabiNational newspapers and New England Book Award-winning author Suzanne Strempek Shea. Somewhere in this book I'm sure it says a few words about the orphanage. I didn't buy it, nor will I read it. I have no need to, I know my own truth.
Finally, here are a few links to the current (relative term I guess) state of affairs:http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2010/02/133_employees_will_lose_jobs_w.html
see the playset beside Cottage 6?





Sunday, December 8, 2013

Another Springfield to add to the list

Little did we know that we were going to be driving through a Springfield when we were in Western PA, but then we came upon a little sign. Also ignorant were we to the fact that indeed, there are townships, boroughs, and villages sometimes all with the same name in the same state. For example Spfld. wasn't really city, town, or village of, but merely a township, of which there are 9 separate Spfld. townships in PA. Sounds like a lot until you start counting the big name ones like Washington (22), Franklin (19), Jackson (18- as an aside, I personally loathe that man + am disheartened that PA saw fit to name that many townships after him), Union (18), Penn (13). Spfld. shares a # position w/ Jefferson and Perry (whoever that was).

I know little of where the other townships were, only that ours was in Fayette County, far down South in the West of PA. Heck we were a spit away from W. VA, and man did it ever feel like it. Do you remember William Penn + his state as the "Holy Experiment"? The place where religious wierdos- cast outs from their countries, were to come to be pietists, pacifists, and create communities based on their interpretations of the New Testament. Where they were to purify themselves and get ready for the 2nd coming of Christ? Well, I think they were still doing that in W.PA over 300+ yrs. later. I think the Quakers left the area, leaving people of simple lives trying to live in pure faith. So here is what we saw: